About Shhhh! Digital Media

This content is produced in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and written by Brian Joseph Johns. There is no Shhhh! Digital Media in New York that has anything to do with this Shhhh! Digital Media in Canada, not to mention I've never been to New York.

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Monday, June 30, 2025

About Fools...




Hi. Brian Joseph Johns here.


Fools often say things without fully considering the repercussions of their words. Most often in reaction to those who'd provoke such words with the intent to do so, but in all honesty it cannot be their fault, for the person who speaks them is entirely the bearer of so, and often as much, a fool without ever realizing that fact in the moment they're uttered as much.


I've been called many things in my life, but I'd have to say that the most appropriate of nomenclature every applied to my person is that of jerk, for speaking without carefully considering the effects of vitriol of such words is a careless propensity to visit upon people and life.


I believe that everyone has to follow their own path, and that they alone should be mindful and responsible for their choices in that way, especially where it regards a life partner.


I recently had the crude brash idiocy to state that my own love interest isn't blonde without carefully considering the repercussions of that statement. I spent a wonderful portion of my life with such a woman, who is amongst the most inspiring of relationships I've had. Enough so to become the inspiration for Alicia Westin, despite Alicia's very different career from the woman about whom I'm speaking.


There are certainly many women who have blonde hair who I've admired and found myself attracted to, but not because of their hair, but because of some resoundingly obvious fire that burned in their spirit and the expression of their personality. 


Whether in private, or to the world. There's even one who I regard ultimately as a priceless Jewel. A woman of such wonder and creativity whom I elevated to a place beyond my reach, never considering that she might have invested some interest in someone as hidden and mysterious (and desolate) as myself, despite the world's awareness of her versus me.


I am a fool for stating that my love interest isn't blonde, because in all truth, that isn't entirely true. I am often tormented verbally by people who practice cow tipping as a social sport, and often this involves deciphering the love interest of the people they target so that they can divide those people as well. In a moment of hostile reaction and clarification, that was my verbal and written response.


I was in the relationship of my life with an absolutely extraordinary (Chinese) woman throughout 2006. She's a very big part of the inspiration for everything you see and read here on Shhhh! Digital Media, but we've long since parted ways and mostly for her protection from the crass nature of being stalked, because she's older than me by almost a decade and a half, and I'm a fifty-seven year old (57) Scorpio. I've never felt so dedicated to any woman before as I have her, but given our difference in age and the progression of time, it makes our reuniting almost impossible.


Now if I suddenly pushed my devotion to her aside and then pursued a Jewel on a whim, what kind of a man would that make me? Chasing even the best match I'd probably ever have in terms of an obsessive creative artist who is a well of that divine spark we all pursue. I think that would make me a very untrustworthy partner, especially if I simply jumped ship and pursued the nearest and most potentially "profitable" relationship. 


I don't know what's worse, declaring that my own love interest isn't blonde, or simply pushing my loyalty and dedication to a woman who made the biggest difference in my life aside, to chase someone else, who despite how incredible a match we might be, would leave any person wondering how can a person such as I actually truly know what love is?


Regardless, it hurts a lot more to know that I might have hurt someone else who looked upon me in much the same way. I am heterosexual by the way, and no, I don't send secret messages by the movies I watch online or by any other means. My art is as free as am I, and I'm certain that any Jewel that found my person would very much feel the same. If my words hurt anyone in that sense, I sincerely apologize for that was not the intent. It was a clarification meant to protect the idea that I don't throw aside one about whom I care so much, to pursue another whose being seems very much to be compatible with mine. 


Nobody I know would want me to be happier than my former love Helen, but I can never betray her heart, or the heart of any incredibly creative and inspired Jewel I'd come to know.


From the depths of my heart, I apologize for making that statement. That my love interest isn't a blonde haired woman, because the truth is the difference between what we desire, and who crafted us into who we are now. Like changing lanes in a car in hopes of moving ahead faster in life. Lovers are not lanes, and hearts are fragile.


There is no fool bigger than I for uttering such words.


However, from a fool who pays attention and learns from his mistakes, there are new chapters coming to at least two, possibly three of the story lines at the midway point in my vacation. I know that will not make up for my foolishness, but it will at least move us forward. A more accurate statement would have been, that my heart and interest is very loyal to Helen, and as she'd approve, a certain cat, or at the very least, she's a lover thereof.


Brian Joseph Johns

This content is entirely produced in Toronto, Ontario, Canada at 200 Sherbourne Street Suite 701 under the Shhhh! Digital Media banner.

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Tripped Up On Calculus...

Its been many, many years since I've actually put to use my skills or knowledge of mathematics, and over the weekend, I played an online knock-off of trivial pursuit, which is a trivia game that adapts quite well to online play, though this trivia game was very much like the kind that you find in arcades and bars.

One of the questions was a very basic question dealing with Eigen matrices, and given that I was on the eighth day of a water fast (for no religious reason as I'm an Atheist that leans toward Buddhism and Taoism), I faltered and flunked the question. Its been twenty four years since I last used that sort of knowledge, not to mention being eight days into a water fast.

Regardless, I signed up for a few refresher courses to strengthen my knowledge in that area. When you're a writer, there are people who believe and act upon the fact that your conscious mind and knowledge originates from a collective, and if you can't prove being consistent with your own writing and knowledge, this same cult will steal the credit for your writing (they turn it into a sort of competition like musical chairs), and give it to the person most consistent with it from your own circle, which they often then use to divide you or pit you against one another.

They'll also try to use your name in a similar battle, where they either try to deny you of your own identity by tricking you into being inconsistent with the meaning of your own name, or they might try to imply that in order to retain your own identity, that you must take on a meaning for your name based upon the words in it or how those words sound.

For instance, with my last name being "Johns", they attempt to force me to carry the weight of the customers of prostitutes (a person who uses the services of a prostitute is often called a "John"). Where I live that's the kind of thing that this cult do. Where that fails, its toilets (the slang name for a toilet is "John"). So you see how that works? Then, my readers end are forced to carry the weight of those things, and believe that is my lifestyle and activity when nothing could be further from the truth. Not to mention, during this whole process, there are literally tens if not hundreds of people who harass me, while I'm at my apartment at home, or sometimes when I'm out on the street. Now keep in mind that I'm not a sex offender or using my computer for anything of a crude nature, so they're not really justified in doing so. They're more so just a criminal racket that provoke conflict from other people.

I guess this post is more of a warning to other content creators out there to be mindful of this cult and what I'm warning you about, because they're very systematic in taking everything from you, not to mention they literally cannabalize people, and then erase the people they've cannabilized. They're one step away from genocide.

This content is entirely produced in Toronto, Ontario, Canada at 200 Sherbourne Street Suite 701 under the Shhhh! Digital Media banner.

I'm still very much on the red black, red white and red yellow team just like my Shhhh! Digital Media colours.
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