The Last Lonely Lounge Comic




Picture a run down lounge with wall to wall pink carpeting. An imitation silk curtain hung above a fake mahogany floored stage and you've got the Last Lonely Lounge. Empty two seat tables line the theatre, where in the back there might be a single couple in the audience, though they're not listening.

After all the Comic is the background to their life, not his. However, this section of the blog is a unique escape. For it is the home of the Last Lonely Comic. This is all about his vocation which is humour or what may appear to be.



He speaks into the microphone:

Telekinesis



"So I was talkin' to a friend of mine. He says to me that he's got telekinesis."

"I look at him and say: So? I've got telekinesis and nephews."

Silent pause.

"It's a great crowd here tonight."

Deafening silence.

...

Golf


"Does anyone here like golf?"

Silence again from the ever absent audience.

"Two guys arrive at the golf course to play the first nine holes. One of them a stock broker, the other one a priest."

Silent pause.

"So the priest takes his shot. Lining his drive up nicely landing on the fairway."

"The stock broker pauses, looking at his shot. He winds up for his drive and swings. The ball hooks far to the right."

"He begins cursing and swearing, jumping on his golf club about the shot he just made."

"The priest says: Take it easy there son and watch your words. The good lord is listening."

"They arrive to the stock broker's ball in the rough and he lines up shot with one of his clubs. He takes the swing and the ball veers far to the left once again landing in the rough. The stock broker begins cursing and swearing, throwing his club at the ground and jumping on it."

"The priest looks at him in shock and disgust and speaks: Easy there son. Watch your words. I'm a man of the cloth and the good lord is listening!"

"They hop in the golf cart and arrive once again at the stock broker's ball in the rough. The stock broker lines up his shot with a wedge and swings hard and with purpose. The ball once again veers into the rough."

"The stock broker spews, cursing and swearing jumping on his golf club in anger."

"The priest speaks in shock: I'm a man of the cloth! Hold your tongue and watch your words in the presence of the lord!"

At that moment, a bolt of lightning jumps from a cloud in an otherwise clear sky and strikes the priest dead in his tracks.

From the clouds, a tremendous voice is heard cursing and swearing about the bad shot with the lightning bolt.

Silence.

"You're a wonderful audience."

To be continued...

All material here is the original work of the Last Lounge Comic.

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