When I'm 23...

I'm 54 years old now and it has been a rough ride as it has for many of us over the last few years. But we all still have it pretty good especially considering there are some in the world who are literally fighting for their freedom and sovereignty.

There's a lot of nastiness and harassment in today's world and even more nasty people who'd literally steal everything that isn't nailed down from your person. Especially by illegally spying on your computer. Something I deal with constantly, let alone the abuse that ensues any time I enter into the community.

Still, I keep going and striving to do better and better each time despite these social bullies. They'll get their bill one day, and without an easy way out, but that's not my responsibility and I won't let that eat me up. That's theirs, and theirs alone.

So I found this picture online recently and it reminded me of that time when I was 23 and had been through the mill back then so to speak, but nothing compared to the last few years. My next work of fiction will directly confront many aspects of our modern society and it will be one of the few of which I'm aware that actually will take one of the big ones on directly.

So, just after I spent a week in a bed healing after nearly being beaten to death, I recovered pretty quick and the papers took this photograph of my mother and I. Please don't take this photo as another "poor me" moment at all. Its just a reminder of who you're bullying when the gangs of you stalk and harass me simply so you can provoke a reaction with which you can use to justify stealing my creative work on A Lady's Prerogative or the Butterfly Dragon.

So here's the picture, taken in 1991 by the Toronto Star.

That's my mother there, Singer and Song Writer Rita (Johns) Schindler. Her and my Father David were nominated for a Juno in 1982 (under Most Promising Female Vocalist). She's one half of where I get my propensity for musicianship (at the time of that photograph, I was a professional piano and midi keyboard player, gigging regularly as well as working a day job as an A/V Tech for Southam). My Father, another piano, keyboard player, composer and arranger is the other half of my love for music. They're also a big inspiration for my writing.

Keep in mind that when you bully me, especially in groups, I don't take too kindly to that simply because its happened all too often and hate is never love to me. There's one thing I never do, and that's I will never reward an abuser.

Here's the link to the photograph at the Toronto Public Library and their archives. More proof of my own identity. This one was taken when I was 23 years old and roughly a week and a half after I'd recovered from the attack.

One thing I'll give you is that when I came up with the name Heylyn Yates for the Canadian name of the character Ai Yuanlin Ying in The Butterfly Dragon, I actually borrowed the phonetic sound of the name from a poet. 

Here's the reason I chose his name:

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats

I wish those of you who live by the idiom of peace and prosperity, a happy holiday weekend. I myself am an Atheist that leans towards Buddhism and Taoism, so I won't be celebrating the same way as you, but I respect yours and everyone's right to believe as they choose. Please reciprocate.

Thank you to the loyal readers and fans that haven't tried to steal my identity or content over the years or engaged in abuse for any reason. I am truly grateful for you and always will be.

And remember, when I refer to my Asian love interest, and to my interest to see Shhhh! Digital Media grow into something that makes a difference in the world, that I'm thinking about that poem.

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

The foot that falls heavy, tends to attract the foot that falls heavy. And all of us have a finite number of toes. Toes are kind of like colours in that way.

So don't run out of them. 

And no. Bobby isn't mind controlling me into writing any stories or books. Nobody is. I'm fully in control of myself, and I don't play guitar but it is a great instrument and a distant relative of the piano.

Brian Joseph Johns